Posted On Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 04:17:47 AM
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- For a healthy relationship, what should be the frequency of sex?
Since sex is an intense exercise it must be performed at least two to three times a week for the sexual fitness of the couple, as any other exercise is required for at least three times a week for general fitness, irrespective of age. There is no expiry date for indulging in sex.
There’s nothing called sexual retirement. In the absence of the partner, one must encourage self sex or masturbation.
- If there is a difference in the sex drive between partners, how does one deal with it?
Identify the problem. It could be clinical, like thyroid secretion issue, diabetes or low haemoglobin. If the reports are normal, try ‘Coolidge Effect’ — break habituation phenomenon. Bring in novelty in the act and express yourself through pink goggles.
Romance can be outside the bedroom, within the bedroom and on the bed. I have a 5S programme for relaxation: streamline expectation from partner, spend quality time together, take a second honeymoon break, socialise as a couple and don’t neglect sex life — it includes foreplay, play and afterplay.
Knowledge of erotic massage techniques, Tantra and Hatha yoga also help.
- Is alcoholism one of the reasons behind irregular sex life in today’s youth?
Yes, it is one of the main reasons for erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation or an-ejaculation. This is compounded by tobacco, gutka, obesity and high cholesterol.
So, I suggest the drop-packet method and no-drop control.
- What’s the best way to learn about sex? Do we have sex coaches in India?
Sex coaches or surrogates are not advisable medically as they can lead to HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus) or HIV. The best way to learn about sex is by learning newer techniques.
- What do you do if your partner looks for sex outside of marriage?
Every person is polygamous by nature. But every couple has a different definition for morality. They need to identify the different kinds of relationships that can happen outside of marriage:
a) In extra-marital relationship, it could be commercial sex, an affair amounting to breach of trust.
b) It could be an open marriage where both partners enjoy but are not answerable to each other. That makes a weak marriage.
c) It could be an adventurous couple where there is swapping or threesome or consenting friendships. Here you can avoid cheating but trust is lost in the long run.
d) Then, there could be extra-marital friendship, where both partners know the person involved, who is an old friend, and are comfortable with it. Here marriage may survive because sex is only one part of the relationship. By analysing this way, the couple can attain relational maturity.
- Does Viagra really work or is it only a placebo?
I was present at the 7th World Congress of Impotence Research in San Francisco, US, November 1996, where Viagra was officially launched. What was discussed was something like this:
At the time of sexual excitement, signals come from brain to the penis and stimulates a chemical called Cyclic GMP (cGMP), which enhances blood flow into the penis and produces erection. After some time, PDE5 enzyme gets stimulated which destroys cGMP and the erection is lost. Sildenafil Citrate (Viagra) stops PDE5 enzyme from destroying cGMP for some time. That means, the erection is maintained for a while longer.
But, Viagra doesn’t act on sex centre and produce sex desire. Secondly, it doesn’t enhance the quality of erection. Thirdly, because it is taken orally it affects not just PDE5 in penis, but also in the heart and eyes. When this happens, the heart stops pumping for some time. In the eyes, the problem of colour vision occurs.
- What does sex education entail?
Sex education is meant to impart education of the sexuality to a person. It should be given as a part of biology from 8th grade onwards till 12th grade.
It must be given in a graded way and must encompass topics of gender identity, gender role, meaning of love and marriage and the art of intimacy along with the art of sex. The latter topics must be for the premarital age group and the newly-weds.
Adults must know about sex and relationship problems and their solutions, need of sex therapy and sex counselling. Sex tonics are a myth and the real sex tonic is the knowledge of sex and art of romance. It must be emphasised that sex is a relationship and not just an act.
- What is a P-spot?
The P-spot is the spot in the upper wall of the vagina. When stimulated, usually by the finger of the partner, it starts oozing a fluid into the urinary tract of the woman.
Dr Whipple and her associates showed it as women’s ejaculation. I found its mention in the 16th century Sanskrit text, Ananga Ranga, of Kamashastra. Medically it is the para-urethral gland of the woman described as Poornachandra Nadi, the spot filled with the orgasmic fluid of the woman. I labelled it the P-spot.
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06:56:56 PM